○ Key words: contrast, variety, constant exploration, erotically intelligent ○ Shadows: get stuck in ruts, think too much on the “why”, take risks ○ Toys: sensation toys, pleasure mapping, bondage ○ Turn-ons: personal rule-breaking, pushing the edge, intensity, hitting psychological buttons ○ Key words: taboo, endlessly creative, imaginative ○ Shadows: can get so focused on the end result they miss the journey with their partners ○ Toys: something controlled by their partner, on/in/around erogenous zones ○ Turn-ons: erotic visuals, dirty talk, nudity ○ Key words: certainty, easily and quickly aroused, sex leads to relaxation ○ Shadows: can get stuck in their heads, tend to be picky ○ Toys: eye masks and soft feeling fabrics ○ Turn-ons: different types of touching, setting the mood, music, relaxation, positive reminders ○ Key words: all five senses, full body pleasure, prolonged experiences ○ Shadows: very sensitive, easily overwhelmed, need strong boundaries ○ Toys: essential oils, feathers with a soft touch ○ Turn-ons: building erotic tension, eye contact, matched breath, staying present ○ Key words: intuitive lovers, need space, teasing, anticipation, sense of safety, easily distracted, deeply connect By understanding your style as part of the 5 Erotic Blueprints you are able to create pleasurable, fulfilling, and sexy experiences. There is something similar to love languages when it comes to erotic desire in couples, The 5 Erotic Blueprints.įiguring out your erotic style, or blueprint, could be the key to helping you open the door to connection and pleasure! We are all wired differently for pleasure including turn-ons, turn-offs, needs, toys, and behaviors that align with our unique erotic blueprint. Understanding someone’s love language allows you to connect with them in a way that feels safe and secure to them. If you have ever taken the Five Love Languages quiz, then you are familiar with people having different ways of expressing their affection. While love thrives on having, erotic desire thrives on wanting. Eroticism is playful, adventurous, and uncertain. Eroticism is experienced through curiosity, imagination, anticipation and letting go of our responsibilities for a while. We are given many models of committed love in our lives, but when looking for that “spark” to heat things up we often miss the mark.Įsther Perel says it best when she describes eroticism by saying “eroticism isn’t sex it’s sexuality transformed by the human imagination”. But, if asked what erotic desire is, what would they say? As therapists, we often see couples who have neglected the eroticism in their relationships, redirecting it or shutting it down altogether. If you ask your partner what committed love is, they could give you an answer. Newsletter: Click here to enjoy weekly newsletter with juicy tips we can't share on social media.In relationships, committed love and erotic desire are two very different things. Plus be the first to know when we launch new events & programs! Newsletter: Click here to enjoy weekly newsletter with juicy tips we can't share on social media. Join our Intimacy Evolution Community on Facebook If you have questions or would like more guidance in exploring them further you can email me, message me on IG or book a Discovery Call. We discuss the 5 different blueprints, their shadows and how to incorporate them into your relationship. Turns out they have different blue prints, different ways they enjoy receiving pleasure. I highly recommend you go check it out if you haven't already! Sexologist, Jaiya, creator of the Erotic Blueprint, is shown working with a couple that was "incompatible" in the bedroom. We discovered the Erotic Blueprint in December 2021, when we were watching the Netflix series "Sex, Love, Goop". If you've ever felt a sort of disconnect or like you and your partner just aren't sexually compatible, I feel this episode will help shed some light on why that may be. It's how you show up, how you're turned on and move in your sexual expression and enjoy receiving pleasure. What is an "Erotic Blueprint"? It's like the 5 Love Languages, for the bedroom.
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